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1. A Cautionary Tale

Once upon a time, this ESL author stumbled upon a prompt entitled "Lestrade gives Sherlock a pearl necklace" and thought "Oh, how too too romantic". She then proceeded to fill it accordingly but, thank god, was shown the error of her ways before she was done and posting.

Much later on, I sent the draft to grassle for laughs, telling her I was now tempted to write a "mispûrned medley". She said, why not make it a collective romp? And thus, children, was the Not-Porn Porn Challenge born. Oh, and you still get the story at the end of the post.

2. The Challenge

It's quite simple. I'm letting it run for, say, a month - and then, if there have been answers, I'll set up a Masterpost.

a) Chose a kink's name. (Or ask me for ideas. I'm quite enlightened by now.)
b) Write a G- or PG-rated fic for it. Gen or any pairing welcome. Fanartists welcome too! Fics should be at least 100-word drabbles but can be as long as you please. So "red wings" can be magical AU or wee!Jim chasing butterflies, "figging" Sherlock giving Mycroft his share of figgy pudding at the Christmas dinners, etc. etc.
c) Post the result on your LJ and link here, or post directly as a comment to this entry. Anonymous comments are accepted. 
e) Feel free to use a kink even if someone else did before (I know I have at least three distinct ideas for "golden shower")...
f) ... and feel free to crosspost this meme anywhere you like.
g) If anyone French among my f-list feels tempted, I'll be happy to translate their fic.

3. Launching the Boat

1. Pearl Necklace

Pairing : Lestrade/Sherlock

Rating : PG (warning for the word "nudity")

Word count : 722

As always, all my thanks to grassle for her quick and efficient betaing.

"There’s something," Lestrade said at last, looking into the warm haze of the fire.

He felt before he heard Sherlock’s hum of breath still against his thigh and added quickly: "Something I want you to have."

"Oh," Sherlock said, prudent yet not unpleased. He rolled over from Lestrade’s lap onto the rug, raising himself on his elbows to meet this new riddle eye to eye. Creature of the night, Lestrade thought with a fond nod at the bygone eighties, letting his eyes loiter with unabashed intent over the sight. For a self-proclaimed spartan, Sherlock fitted his nudity like a glove, and didn’t half know it.

"It’s not a ring, is it?" the spartan was asking in almost plaintive tones. "Gold itches. I’d have to hang it on a chain, and that’s a liability in my line of work. Think ..."

"Hush" – and Lestrade placed a finger on the buxom underlip. "No; it’s not gold. Or new." He fumbled in the shadow for his discarded trousers. "Or blue, or borrowed," he went on with a nervous swipe at levity.

"Isn’t it?" Sherlock’s voice had gone low.

Lestrade found his gaze and raised it, literally raised it, tilting up Sherlock’s chin with a finger while he kept his other hand behind  his back. "Borrowed? Nope. No longer, so have another guess."

His to hold and give, even against the odds that time would one day double back again and deal him another pang, another bruised memory, the next day he’d find the little rope and wonder why he, she, hadn’t gone the whole sodding symbolic hog and broken it, just broken the damn thing, instead of leaving it coiled at the bottom of his bedside table drawer. His first real gift to Debbie back when they were absolute beginners, and he still on a novice pay, too. Squeezing it in the hollow of his hand, he’d tried to remember – what had she looked like, receiving his gift? Had she laughed, or gasped? Seen it for the sign it was, the pledge, or only the money gone to waste? He’d laughed, that he remembered, and said "Who waits thirty years these days?",  fastening it round her neck.


The drawer had jammed in the early morning grey.

"Three years," Lestrade said, pushing the waste to the back of his heart. He stretched his hand open so that Sherlock would see the grain-like pearls shadowed by the flames. Debbie had worn them every night in the first year, under her boiled wool sweaters. "They die if you don’t," her words, and even though he’d joked about pearl-clutching, there had been pride and lust in his heart, in their feel against his cheek when he sucked at the soft dip of her throat.

He couldn’t have said when she’d begun to take them off for choir practice, and Tai Chi, and swimming, and finally her new tone-up programme, but that was then and now Sherlock was taking them from his hand. The string was too short to let the necklace hang  from his neck; rather, the pearls seemed to target it, encircle it, white upon white, a trophy that stayed and gleamed and changed. As Lestrade watched, he saw how they gathered a sharp dew of clarity, drawing the fire to them until they were matching Sherlock’s own pellucid eyes – until they breathed the same quiet unquiet light.

Lust and pride no longer covered it.

His hand was being taken and wrapped around the slender neck, Sherlock’s hand tightening the clasp until Lestrade could feel the pearls’ sleek hardness against his flesh. There was nothing soft here, or bland, no reassurance for a domestic man, nothing that came close to Debbie’s promise of yielding milkiness. But the recent years had been a string of nights tied by loss. Sherlock’s hand was still wrapped over his, pressing it hard enough for the pearls to leave their imprint on both of them.

Three years, the gesture said as Sherlock at last lowered their hands to his lap. He tilted his head all the way back, the string taut enough at his neck to hurt. And Lestrade felt his own heart tauten in response to the primal sight, the sign, pledge, and the beauty of it, decadent and all-decisive.

He leant forward until his lips touched flesh, and let the fourth year begin.


EDIT: The challenge is now closed and a Masterlist has been posted. Thank you, everyone, for cooperating so brilliantly!

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Comments

( 76 commentaires — Envoyez un commentaire )
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grassle
13 juin 2012 11:38 (UTC)
So lovely! This has really moved me. And just so you know, it actually made me start wearing Granny's pearl necklace she left to me. A rope with a clasp to make a knot. V. classy. I had them on yest. to meet the folks and the eldest sniffed: "It's not even 6pm!" My, "they're fun pearls!" didn't wash. I blame you for the lapse in etiquete.

Right. Not-porn porn: I'm having snowballing and Sherlock has a bear kink. Not chub; bear. Ununpentium wants watersports, but I'll direct her here to claim. Will send the snowballing fic Sunday pm GMT if that's okay.

Brill idea!
archea2
13 juin 2012 12:11 (UTC)
Oh, lovely! Can't wait to read. And yes, tell ununpentium to come and join the fun!

Wear them for brekkie with your head high! Grandmothers' jewels are such treasures. Mine gave me an enormous Napoleon III ring with a false turquoise that looks almost beatnik when worn with a black turtleneck.

Edited at 2012-06-13 12:27 (UTC)
(pas de sujets) - ununpentium - 15 juin 2012 21:29 (UTC) - Expand
thesmallhobbit
13 juin 2012 12:20 (UTC)
That was lovely.

I'll have a go - I'm useless at writing porn, so this will be a great challenge. I'm also useless at thinking of prompts, so if you care to suggest something I'd be grateful.
archea2
13 juin 2012 12:26 (UTC)
Oh, that would be great!

Is that a John/Lestrade icon I see?^^ Erm... the first thing popping into my mind is "Ménage à trois", John and Greg ganging up with Mrs Hudson to clean the flat in Sherlock's absence, with snarky comments. But I can try and think up more romantic pitches...
(pas de sujets) - thesmallhobbit - 13 juin 2012 12:35 (UTC) - Expand
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list_of_lists
13 juin 2012 12:41 (UTC)
I love your story! Just beautiful.

I'll try and write something (between the ongoing Angelic chaos), although a suggestion of a kink's name would be most useful, if that's possible.
archea2
13 juin 2012 13:19 (UTC)
I've just had your mail re the Angelic chaos, and it's turning out great!

I did think "Daisy Chain" or "Tea Bag" for you, or "Cottaging", and of course "Pony Play", and no, I'm never linking you to the relevant glossaries.

(I'm about certain I read of a practice called "Alaskan dragon" but can't seem to find it again.)
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(pas de sujets) - thesmallhobbit - 13 juin 2012 15:53 (UTC) - Expand
impishtubist
13 juin 2012 13:22 (UTC)
Oh, this is just lovely! I especially like the last line. Beautiful!
impishtubist
13 juin 2012 13:23 (UTC)
Also, do you mind if I spread the word via Tumblr? This sounds like great fun!
(pas de sujets) - archea2 - 13 juin 2012 13:42 (UTC) - Expand
maurice
13 juin 2012 15:26 (UTC)
You weren't the only one who misinterpreted that prompt XD

I'd like to play, so throw some kinks at me and I'll see what I can do. Meanwhile I'll pimp the challenge in my journal.
archea2
13 juin 2012 15:30 (UTC)
Haha, thanks! (And, oh my, that icon of yours. Scrumptious.)

Oh dear, I don't know... what about the names I mention in the post, red wings and figging? Would they inspire you?

And thanks for the pimping - always appreciated!
(pas de sujets) - maurice - 13 juin 2012 17:20 (UTC) - Expand
(pas de sujets) - archea2 - 12 juil 2012 21:20 (UTC) - Expand
shadowstar_gzan
13 juin 2012 21:23 (UTC)
Found this through Tumblr =3 Sounds interesting, too, and I've been meaning to start writing things again. Prompt away~! =D
archea2
14 juin 2012 09:21 (UTC)
Hi and welcome! Well, I think a few names are still left out - such as figging, tea bagging, cottaging, and we can add rimming, desperation, Daddy kink... would any of those strike a spark?
(pas de sujets) - shadowstar_gzan - 15 juin 2012 03:05 (UTC) - Expand
(pas de sujets) - archea2 - 12 juil 2012 21:22 (UTC) - Expand
morganstuart
14 juin 2012 21:28 (UTC)
Have I told you lately that you're brilliant? Because you are.
archea2
14 juin 2012 21:35 (UTC)
Oh, my dear. Thank you. Though I'll feel much more brilliant when I've caught up with my WIPs! Ah, well. Eyes on the 17th...

("Desperation" is still free btw, if a certain angstsmith feels tempted...)
grassle
16 juin 2012 20:55 (UTC)
Challenge entry: Kindle fire with snow, or, snowballing
Thanks to archea2 for this lovely idea!


http://grassle.livejournal.com/68831.html
fengirl88
16 juin 2012 21:04 (UTC)
*happy sigh*

there can never be enough Sherlock/Lestrade romance, with or without pearl necklaces, and this is lovely!
archea2
17 juin 2012 08:57 (UTC)
Ah, thank you! I'm happy this worked for you.
marysutherland
16 juin 2012 22:18 (UTC)
I do like the idea of Sherlock in nothing but pearls (and the bitter sweetness of their previous associations). I'd like to have a go with tea bagging, if that's OK?
archea2
17 juin 2012 09:00 (UTC)
Thanks! And I'd love to see your take on tea bagging - I'm quite a fan of your work. Go right ahead!
yalublyutebya
17 juin 2012 19:05 (UTC)
This is the best thing ever! :-D
archea2
17 juin 2012 19:14 (UTC)
The challenge or the fic?^^Thanks anyway for the kind comment!
(pas de sujets) - yalublyutebya - 17 juin 2012 19:15 (UTC) - Expand
yalublyutebya
17 juin 2012 19:14 (UTC)
By which I mean, can I have 'facials' please? :-)
archea2
17 juin 2012 19:21 (UTC)
Absolutely! Looking forward to reading the result!
yalublyutebya
17 juin 2012 19:28 (UTC)
Barely a drabble, but I couldn't resist. Here, for your enjoyment, is Sherlock giving John a facial :-)</p>

****

"I'm really not sure about this, Sherlock," John says hesitantly.

"John, trust me."

"I just don't think I'm going to like it."

"That's ridiculous, you've never even tried it. And I'm very good," Sherlock practically purrs.

"Okay, okay," John says, shifting to make himself more comfortable on the bed. Sherlock settles next to him and John can't help but close his eyes in trepidation.

"Are you ready?" Sherlock asks, and John can feel him hovering nearby, his skin giving off heat.

"Yes," John gets out, willing himself to just relax and let Sherlock get on with it.

The first touch of cool moisture on his face is a shock and he startles, but a moment later Sherlock is smoothing the lotion into his skin in sweeping motions.

"See?" Sherlock says in a pointed tone. "It's not that bad."

It's really not. It's quite relaxing, actually, and when Sherlock puts two slices of cucumber over his eyes, John is quite content to melt into the bed.

archea2
17 juin 2012 21:14 (UTC)
Oh, thank you! I'm still smiling at that final image of John relaxing with two cucumber slices over his eyes! Lovely.
(pas de sujets) - grassle - 17 juin 2012 21:22 (UTC) - Expand
morelindo
17 juin 2012 20:45 (UTC)
This is an excellent challenge concept.

And what a lovely fic! Not my usual ship but I really enjoyed it. It made me smile :) So thanks for both.
archea2
17 juin 2012 21:13 (UTC)
Oh, thank you! That's a lovely comment, and much appreciated.
list_of_lists
20 juin 2012 14:50 (UTC)
A small fic (of the L/S variety) for 'Daisy Chain' here.

(Deleted comment)
archea2
21 juin 2012 19:28 (UTC)
Not at all! Let me see... we still have Puppy Play, Desperation, Whipping (egg whites?), Pegging, Underage, Roleplaying... would one of these work?

(I suppose there must be some way to write non-kinky spanking too, but I'm not the person to ask!)
(pas de sujets) - fenm - 21 juin 2012 19:32 (UTC) - Expand
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archea2
22 juin 2012 07:07 (UTC)
I THINK I LOVE YOU.
ioniccovalency
22 juin 2012 00:33 (UTC)
I spent a bit too long trying to figure out how you could make a pearl necklace PG until I read the a/n that explained it (misinterpreted the prompt too XD).
This is a great idea, I'm going to try to get out of my writing slump and have a go.
Any prompts?
archea2
22 juin 2012 07:11 (UTC)
(I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one!)

*racks her brain* There's still Puppy Play, Desperation, Underage, Roleplaying, Glazed Muffin (don't ask me, I came across it in Ununpentium's fill), 69... (I'm sure 69 could be very inspiring)... could one of these strike a spark?
(pas de sujets) - grassle - 22 juin 2012 08:48 (UTC) - Expand
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leucotheasveil
22 juin 2012 15:25 (UTC)
Oh, I am enjoying this a great deal. And yes, I do regret looking up a few of the unfamiliar terms. Everyone has the right to their kinks, but damn, there are finally a few I have found that I completely cannot stomach.

How about "rope, "leather", "age play", or mention of "beads", "latex paint", "hot wax", and/or "water-based lubricant"?

Perhaps someone could be sent to the store for a few items, and come back with the wrong ones completely?

Oooh! More fun would be John translating something from French and getting the connotation completely wrong! (I am sure English speakers make the same pearl necklace-type faux pas translating other languages!)
list_of_lists
22 juin 2012 21:30 (UTC)
For Pony Training: Sherlock and Mycroft had a pony when they were children here and angel Sherlock had something to do with the invention of the Thelwell pony (which started off on prompt, then drifted) here.
mightypog
24 juin 2012 06:09 (UTC)
Oh, you genius
"But the recent years had been a string of nights tied by loss."


You are a POET.
grassle
02 juil 2012 19:34 (UTC)
Challenge entry: Liquids and Plosives


http://grassle.livejournal.com/71220.html

Edited at 2012-07-02 19:35 (UTC)
chamekke
02 juil 2012 22:00 (UTC)
Erm... is it too late to join in? I'm on grassle's f'list and just spotted her scat story, which of course is superb... but now I've fallen desperately in love with this challenge. (Haven't tried writing BBC Sherlock yet but if anything can tempt me into it, this will <333)

Once upon a time, this ESL author stumbled upon a prompt entitled "Lestrade gives Sherlock a pearl necklace" and thought "Oh, how too too romantic". She then proceeded to fill it accordingly but, thank god, was shown the error of her ways before she was done and posting.

My first language is English and this is the kind of error I make all the time, so I think we must be kindred spirits. *hugs*
grassle
02 juil 2012 22:22 (UTC)
GO ON GO ON GO ON GO ON GO ON GO ON GO ON!!!!!

My first language isn't English and I say, mynd ar, mynd ar, mynd ar, mynd ar, mynd ar, mynd ar, mynd ar!
(pas de sujets) - chamekke - 02 juil 2012 22:46 (UTC) - Expand
(pas de sujets) - archea2 - 03 juil 2012 07:58 (UTC) - Expand
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chamekke
12 juil 2012 15:38 (UTC)
Challenge entry: Knot for All the Tea in China
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